I often receive emails from wives who really do want to believe that their husband have ended the affair and are completely committed to working together to saving the marriage. But, for whatever reason, many have trouble totally believing in this. Maybe it’s because he was actively lying to you before when he was cheating. Maybe it’s hard to believe that someone can just turn off and on their feelings and flip flop in this way. Or, maybe he’s just still acting “off” so that you can’t help but question if he is as trustworthy and sincere as he claims to be.
Many of these emails ask for some signs or indications that their husband is telling the truth when he swears that he has ended the affair once and for all. Their are some behaviors and actions that you want to look for. I will discuss them in the following article.
He Doesn’t Have The Time To Keep Having An Affair Because He’s Spending All His Spare Time With You: The first thing that you want to look for is a husband who, when he’s not working or fulfilling other necessary obligations, is with you. It’s much less likely that the affair can continue when one of the parties is no longer present. If he can’t see her, spend time with her, converse with her, or interact with her, then how can they be having an affair?
So the first thing that you want to look for is the husband who is taking you along when he has to go somewhere and wants to include you in all of his plans. You want to see the guy who immediately comes home from work and puts off all of his leisure or extracurricular activities right now because his priority is you and the marriage.
If he’s still having to work late or run around because of other obligations, then you are potentially right to be suspicious and should most definitely check up to see if these claims are true. With that said, it’s not unheard of for a man to ask the mistress to “be patient” and wait until he can get you off of their trail. This is somewhat rare, but it does happen sometimes.
He’s Willing To Do Whatever You Ask Him To Do To Help You To Save The Marriage: A truly sincere man is going to follow up on his claims. Not only will he promise you that he’s going to make this right and end the affair, he will immediately begin doing exactly what he’s said. If you want to go to counseling, he will go. If you want answers, he will give them. If you need reassurance, he will work tirelessly to provide it. In short, he will make it his priority to give you what you need because he is truly sorry and wants to fix this.
Men who still have one foot in their life with this mistress are going to hold back a bit when it comes to their wife. Sure, they may talk a good game. But, when it really comes down to it, they are not able to “go all in” because their heart and their loyalties are divided. If your husband still isn’t at the point where he’s doing what needs to be done, ask him for what you need. If he’s still resistant, ask yourself why this might be.
He’s An Open Book With No Secrets: Man who are trustworthy will go out of their way to show you anything that you want to see. They are anxious to get your trust back so they will often go overboard with giving you their passwords and phone records. They have nothing to hide so this just isn’t a big deal to them. Now, sometimes, they will fall over themselves showing you only what they want you to see. They’re trying to steer you toward what is “safe” for you to see. That’s why it’s you who should decide what books you want to open. Because sometimes, they will be very anxious to show you phone records to a phone they aren’t using. Or, they’ll show you emails from an account that’s off limits between him and his mistress.
Finding Your Own Peace Of Mind: Sometimes, you have to ask yourself if you’re over reaching or if things are really not adding up. Try to see if there are just too many signs to ignore or if there is something that you can follow up on. Because sometimes, you will just need to see for yourself. There’s nothing that says that you can’t check up (discretely of course, so you won’t get caught.) This way, you will have your answer and he will never need to know that you were doubting him if he gets the all clear.